Attack of the giant spider
by christikat
Summary: The attack of the giant spider begins at a lazy Saturday morning ...


The attack of the giant spider begins at a lazy Saturday morning.

In the small utility room where they have set up the washing machine and the dryer Wilson hauls the laundry basket on top of the washer. As he starts to sort through the laundry to divide it into heaps of different colors a brief movement catches his eye. He looks up and gives an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak. The blue sock he has been holding falls down to the floor as he hastily takes some steps backwards.

He squeaks again as his back hits the cold wall. He's twirling around to search for more spiders on the wall behind him then spins around again. After all he has to keep an eye on the monstrosity which swings back and forth on a large thread of silk, quickly roping down and approaching the washer. Suddenly the spider changes its direction, climbs up again and extrudes more silky threads to expand its already big web.

Wilson exhales a shaky breath which he wasn't even aware he was holding. He just has to finish sorting through the dirty laundry, put the first load into the washer, put washing powder into the right chamber and then push the start button. Of course he has to put back all the rest of the dirty laundry in the basket and take it with him. And during all of this he has to keep an eye on the monstrous spider.

That's an easy undertaking. Seriously! He can do this.

He approaches the washer slowly, hunkers down and searches for the lost sock all the while watching the busy spider. A weird sensation at his fingers makes him jump up and his heart is suddenly in his mouth. A single hair curled around his finger is the culprit. Wilson sighs and chides himself for acting like a scaredy-cat. A moving shadow catches his attention and he scuttles a few steps backwards again. The spider roped down again and now hovers merely two inches above the heap of dirty laundry.

Wilson's breathing is speeding up, cold sweat trickles down his spine and he can't think of what to do. Okay, he can't stand here all day and watch this monster. But he can't leave the dirty laundry here unprotected as well. And he sure as hell can't go over and chase off this absolutely gigantic spider! Foremost because the spider would still live in their utility room and he would freak out every time he has to go here. Bringing their dirty laundry to a laundromat on a regular base sounds incredible appealing right now ...

There must be another option … he could … maybe … NO!

He _could_ ask House to help him but that would mean showing House this particular weakness. Of course the serving of this mocking potential on a silver platter would make House very, very happy. Wilson balances the pro and cons and is short of caving and calling out for House when a really disturbing thought crosses his mind. What if House starts to collect spiders and places them everywhere to get a rise out of him? Wilson shudders at the mere thought. House isn't cruel. It's just that his mischievous streak in combination with his lack of social skills often lead to embarrassing situations for Wilson.

Back to the problem with the spider. Thankfully it retreated up to its web again and is busy with adding another string of silk around the middle of its web. Wilson is mesmerized by the sight of the busy spider but nonetheless steps back to the front of the laundry. The spider freezes in his movement for the split of a second, then quickly ropes down in the direction of the clothes.

Wilson is almost deaf due to the rush of blood in his ears. He makes a big leap backwards and bumps into the solid but shortly wavering figure of House. After showering House with apologies and trying to hide his flushing face Wilson is drawn in close by House. Who looks at him with barely concealed interest. Especially after recognizing that Wilson dropped his head to his chest, his eyes taking cover behind long strands of hair. A typical movement for a deeply embarrassed Wilson.

House allows Wilson to hug him but before he can extricate himself and turn away House tightens the grip around Wilson's waist, "What are you doing?"

"I'm doing the laundry. I thought this is quite obvious or did your diagnostic skills escape you?" Wilson retorts without looking up.

House frowns about the cheeky retort, hooks his cane at one of Wilson's arms before he lays a finger under Wilson's chin and slowly lifts it up. He reveals a Wilson gnawing at his lower lip and whose cheeks flourish with a deep shade of red. The small muscles around his eyes are twitching, giving evidence that he has trouble keeping up the deadpan expression.

"Want to tell me something?"

"Um, no?"

"You are hiding something," House says slowly while scanning the room for the source of Wilson's uneasiness.

"I'm not hiding anything!" Wilson protests a tad to vehement. "Except the dirty laundry of course."

House's eyes sweep in the direction of the washer and get stuck there. Wilson's eyes go wide as he sees that and the smile spreading out all over House's face. He can't jump to the right conclusion, can he?

House pushes him away and hobbles over to the washer, "So, there's absolutely nothing you want to tell me?"

Wilson turns around and glares daggers at House's back. He hates this game! Choosing his serious doctor voice he replies, "No, nothing."

House has arrived at his destination, intensely inspecting something over his head. Wilson is still praying that it isn't the spider. Praying isn't of any use where House is concerned; he really should know that by now.

"Hm, maybe it _would_ be better to tell me about your little secret," House suggests and Wilson grits his teeth while squeezing his eyes shut for a short moment.

In an exasperated voice he answers, "House, there is no secret to tell!"

House turns around with a big smug smile plastered all over his face, "Are you lying to me?"

"W-what? No! I mean … I …," Wilson is stuttering and grasping for an explanation although he knows that he's already busted.

"Are you _trying_ to lie to me?" House goes on with his inquiry and slowly limps back to Wilson.

Wilson is wary of the smile on House's face and the one hand balled in a fist in front of him. The pace of his breathing is getting faster and he decides that he's better off with telling the truth, "That would be a yes. Doesn't seem to work, huh?"

House's fist is in front of his face, opening and revealing the giant spider sitting on House's palm. Wilson almost stumbles over his own feet as he backs away from House with an alarmed shriek of, "Get that thing away!"

"You're scared of spiders? Seriously? Isn't this a bit too girly even for you?" House teases him merciless while swaying the hand with the spider in front of Wilson's face.

"House! _Please!_ Just for once don't be an ass and get that … critter out of here!"

House is surprised, to put it mildly. He withdraws his hand a bit and takes Wilson's appearance into a closer inspection. He's sweating, breathing is increased, eyes are wide and little tremors flutter through him. He's desperately trying to hold his body under control when House knots all strings together, "Arachnophobia? Since when?"

"Since the tarantula that belonged to my brother escaped and thought my bed would make a nice home for her," Wilson answers with a trembling voice.

"What happened to the tarantula?"

"Shouldn't you ask about me first?" Wilson's annoyance quickly changes to wariness again. Since House still holds the spider he adds, "My Dad brought it to a small specialized zoo and we finally got a dog."

"So, you want me to get rid of this teeny-weeny spider?" House quips.

"It's big!" Wilson exclaims forcefully, eliciting a grin out of House. Who comes closer to him until Wilson squeaks out, "If you're coming one single step closer to me with that thing you're not getting any for the next four weeks!"

House stops and scowls, "Isn't that a low blow? Threatening to withhold sex?"

"Not if it works!"

"And if I get rid of this spider what do I get?"

Wilson can't suppress an eye-roll before he answers, "Um, I'd call you my hero?"

"That sounds nice but isn't really what I'm looking for. I want a real reward!"

"I could tell you that I love you as often as you want."

"_Wil-son_! I said a real reward not a sappy confession! Give me the something I don't normally get!" House demands.

Wilson is just short of hyperventilating and panicking as he rambles, "You … you can have your way with me?" Since there's no change in House's facial expression Wilson suggests desperately, "Um, okay, how about you can have your way with me and I allow you to tie me up in bed?"

House's expression changes from playfulness to arousal in such a short time that Wilson thinks he's hallucinating. House puts the spider back into his fist, retrieves his cane and starts to limp out of the utility room. As House walks past him Wilson blurts out, "You're my hero and I really love you for that!"

House's face goes blank for a few seconds and Wilson wonders if he has overdone it until he sees a sly smile creeping up in House's face. A promising kiss later he hears House rumble, "I'm getting the ties ready and expect you to be sprawled out on the bed in two minutes."

Wilson blinks and stares at the back of House. He shakes his head and with this breaks through his haze of disbelief. Deciding that the laundry can be done later he hurries over to the direction of the bedroom with an expectant smile on his face.

Thanks for reading!

Comments are appreciated!

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